Have you ever felt like everyone around you was moving up, reaching their goals, flourishing, and becoming?  Did you find yourself becoming bitter? Starting to compare or compete? Have you ever gotten to the point where you began to grow weary and ask God ” WHAT ABOUT ME”? Today I want to encourage the women who are always comparing their lives to others. I want to help the women who find it hard to congratulate the accomplishments of other women. I want to also help the women who are secretly competing against those they consider friends. Sis, you do not have to operate like that. God has not forgettn you! Keep reading I have a message for you! So many women walk around comparing their lives to others. We will compare our sizes, shapes, education, skin, financial status, and relationships. My beautiful sister and queen please understand this… there will always be someone that’s further than you. There will always be someone who has better credit, more money, a nicer car, a better living situation, or even a relationship. That’s just a truth we must accept. Social media hasn’t made it any easier for some of you. Have you ever found yourself waiting for someone to post something new? Have you ever found yourself watching people’s stories, not liking their posts, and keeping up with their activity? Did you ever acknowledge the fact that you began to speak negatively about those people? Did you notice yourself becoming jealous? Did you find yourself feeling as though you were behind? Have you caught yourself saying the word “WHY HER”? Did you ever find yourself asking God ” WHAT ABOUT ME”?

If that just convicted you as you read it and you can relate take a moment and ask God to forgive you. Did you know that comparison is the root of jealousy and envy? You have to allow God to work on you and understand that there are seasons of preparation that must take place in your life. Comparison is a NO NO! We’ve all been there and let me tell you God can help you heal and overcome those insecurities. You were made in the likeness of God! No need to compare.  You have your own path he has created for you. There’s no need to compare. You’ve got your own purpose here on earth girl! There’s NO NEED TO COMPARE!


To my sisters who have a hard time congratulating others… Understand WE ALL HAVE A TIME TO SHINE!!! If someone else’s light doesn’t inspire you to shine too then there are some dark places you have to deal with. Everybody has tests and trials they must face! When you see another sister accomplish a milestone it’s okay to celebrate them.  Do you remember the old preschool song ” If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands”? You have to learn how to clap your hands for real! Someone may have just graduated and gotten their degree, you don’t know the sacrifice it took or how many previous failed attempts they may have had, CLAP! CONGRATULATE! Someone may have just purchased a new home for the first time, you don’t know the double shifts they worked to save, or how long it took for them to fix their credit, CLAP! CONGRATULATE! Someone may have just gotten a new job, you don’t know how many interviews they were rejected at before, you don’t know what financial struggle they may have been in or how long, CLAP! CONGRATULATE! Someone may have just given their life to Christ and are happy to be living right, you don’t know how long they’ve been trying to fight the enemy, you don’t know how long they’ve struggled to make it to the altar, CLAP! CONGRATULATE! Stop allowing the enemy to keep you stuck! You never know what a person went through to get to where they are, you don’t know what it took for them to achieve their accomplishments! Congratulating your sister will not hurt you! It will help you! How? Because remember that one day it willo be your turn too and you’re going to want someone to CLAP! and CONGRATULATE you!

Alriggggggght. So for my women who are in secret competition with their friends… STOP! If you are supposed to be a friend and you’re not truly happy for your sister there’s a problem.  Your friends should inspire you to become better. Even on different levels in life, there should be something in your friend that makes you want to be better! When you know someone and consider them your friend you’ve more than likely walked with them through different stages in their life. Seeing them elevate and grow should make you smile and proud to be called their friend. Sadly, this is not always the case. Be honest in answering these questions. Has your friend done something great and you find yourself secretly trying to outdo them? Has your friend achieved a goal and you found yourself wanting to do something just to say you’ve accomplished something too? Have you found yourself feeling like you’re trying to keep up? Now answer this… Does your friend even know? Too often we miss out on the blessing of the friendship and what that person is in our lives to teach and develop in us because we’re secretly competing. Many friendships have ended or fallen off because one person is secretly in competition and those things begin to come to the surface. If this is you, go to God first. Surrender those feelings to him. Then go to your friend. Be honest with them, humble yourself, and allow them to hear you out. If the relationship means something be prayerful and allow God to restore it.

God has not forgotten about you sis. There are some things he has to work on in you and get out of you first! No more asking WHAT ABOUT ME! Turn it around and say GOD PREPARE ME!  I hope you were encouraged and do what it takes to become the woman God has called you to be!

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